My hair reeks of homosexuality.
you guys were way drunker than both of me
the family i'm sitting with looks like the Addams family. Except for the daughter...she looks like Shrek
I feel like Captain Blackout doesn't do her justice. Brigadier General Blackout is much better.
States back in the final four. Now our sunday night drinking has purpose. Sparty on baby.
id like to point out that while i was just peeing a condom fell out of my vag.
Her gay brother kept hitting on me and cockblocking me. Don't even begin to tell me how bad your night was.
There's a wake for a coworker on 420 during te time of 420... Hoping everyone will be too sad to notice how high I am.
Idk how much more i could have responded my dick was basically trying to unzip the zipper and hop out
I think we can all agree that the size of her boobs, combined with beer, is destroying my ability to judge looks.
She definitely peed in a bucket in their closet last night. We should warn them about that, right?
I'm hoping the sedatives kick in before I drunkenly decide to eat this whole cheesecake.
Don't remember anything. Melissa just said I kept saying welcome to the bat cave
On another note, I think my upstair neighbor is having sex. How awkward would it be if I showed up to her door with a bag of Chipotle?
momentary stint on a second floor library computer...guy next to me snorted blue adderall off his notebook through a cut straw, i cant tell if this guy is my hero or just plain crazy...
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