I just had my first uncircumcised penis. I kept staring at it like the foreskin was going to fall off on its own.
we sang "a whole new world" together. either he's my gay best friend or the love of my life.
The last thing I remember is funneling tequila out of a pink noodle.
I'm thinking I had intended to send you pics cuz I woke up naked
you made them have somersault races with you thru the lobby..
I always congratulate people on their vaginal emancipation.
I can motorboat myself in this new push-up bra. I need to go out tonight.
Dude imagine how many pictures of dicks Obama gets. That can't be unusual. Almost every kids in the US has written the president a letter.
My life is over. I farted in open court. Noticeably. The judge looked at me. It echoed.
I just looked at your pics on Facebook....there was cake? Where the fuck was I!?
it's like his dick is making a u-turn.
I forgot wine drunk hurts
There is this guy in here. He didn't even get ice cream he just filled up his cup with mini marshmellows, chocolate syrup, about a lb of grahm cracker crumbs and walked around to everyone in the shop saying "hey, hey look here, I just made fucking s'mores." He was SO proud of himself.
Whoever thought of breakup sex is my new best friend
It's next to that place that has cock fighting.
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