so after all day drinking, we went to an all u can eat crab place and i was going from table to table surveying the crowd if they though the crab i was carrying around looked like the flying dog from never ending story...what the hell is wrong with me?
he poured tabasco sauce in my vag.. I'm still having a hard time going to the bathroom.
fuck yea just found my unicorn costume from when i was 8... still fits
The album was titled "Best Night Ever" until she found out she was preggers and switched it to "God Punishes Sluts"
I sat in the mc D drive thru and refused to move till the chick gave me her number
we should drop off a car at the police station before going out tonight so we can drive home in the morning
Maybe her vagina is like a vacuum
I can't decide if that would be a good or bad thing. I'm leaning toward good
lets do drugs on my lunch break tomorrow
she is like a cock bee. instead of going from flower to flower she goes from cock to cock
2015 is a year for health and mental stability and alas we are not yet there so yolo
Just wiped the ashes off my forehead before he came over to have sex. Definitely going to hell.
I'm sorry for getting drunk and throwing a robo-bird at you.
Dude, I'm at a wedding and there's a mashed potato bar and bacon strip appetizers. I'm getting all emotional.
girls shouldnt black out with american flag bandaids on their nips
you came home and ate 12 bananas. you really didnt think mom would know you were high?
Randomize
