i jus seen this fat chick walk buy look like she had don king coming out her arm pits..
is it appropriate to call someone “ a tasty piece of bitch?” This is time sensitive.
Is it bad that I was more upset about not getting the perfume he told me he had bought for me then the actual breakup?
things I have learned from cosmo today- 40% of guys are uncircumsized, you can have a beer facial, and i really need to get tested for std's
There are going to be so many Snookis this Halloween that I might just dress as the guy that hit her and punch them all in the face
Like if there was an award for best way to take a girls virginity, he would get a standing ovation. And first prize. Probably a bunch of roses too. That good.
Im wearing all my glow sticks to bed so i know where my arms are at all times.
Should I have a moral quandary about Skyping topless with him while his son slept in the other room?
I don't even know if I LIKE sober sex any more.
And I can say one thing, I look pretty good in high wasted pants. I don't know if that helps. But I do. God I'm high.
He passed out in the car on the way to the party. Seabiscuit tripped before the race even started....Lil bitch....
Sometimes intelligent conversation doesn't mix well with a romantic interest. It's possible the two are best kept separate. Toys should just stay in the toy box.
So, I never imagined myself puking on the side of the road at 10:30 this morning to Lynyrd Skynyrd but here I am.
I'd like to thank Vicodin for getting me through family thanksgiving once again.
Tell me you're alive little brother. And please tell me you didn't get arrested. You made no fucking sense last night in your random texts and pictures you were sending me.
Randomize
