Im so hungover
Come over i have rolls
Ecstasy rolls or Challah rolls?
can u get pink eye on your cock?
Going to get tested monday. You're coming with. Bonding time, slut style.
He promised he'd be the first bidder on my ebay item if i went home with him. Worth it.
well you decided to make everyone "drinks" which was sprite and beer mixed.
we are both sitting on my bed desperately refreshing the order tracking page for dominos.
Because of him my new motto is "Keep calm and fuck a guy with a beard". Yes, I am serious.
if i can hear my landlord's phone ring you think be can hear my vibrator?
im not trying to sound dramatic, but im covered in microwavable lasagna
Omg my butt feels so much better. Those suppositories are magic. It feels like Jesus fingered me in my sleep.
I should be trashily making out with an air force cadet in the beach volleyball court by now
The comfort of this onesie is keeping me single
Nobody's dick fell into my mouth tonight
I'm pretty sure I regained my virginity last night
He just seemed to happy to be having sex with me that it ruined the mood for me. I just wanted to punch him.
Randomize
