were you wearing a green and blue thong last night?
yes! wait why?
because i found it in my pocket this morning...
Nope. She just screamed at me "YOU WERE A FAILED ABORTION" and "I'LL PUT ANTHRAX IN YOUR PILLOW YOU LITTLE FUCK". Best mother award ever
sorry can't. you know Saturday is the masturbating day for single sorority girls here.
gave him road head on the way to his grandparents house. purposely didn't let him finish, the sexual tension over turkey was indescribable.
Someone just told me I could double date with them and their dog as my date. This is why the suicide rates are so high at the holidays.
It's home.......I'm going to the store in disguise to get skittles and cake frosting. Then I'll eat the frosting in a dark corner while I cry and wonder what I did to deserve this.
I've fucked 6 of my brothers' friends. I'm completely fine with him fucking the girl we ate lunch with.
So this is where people who peaked in high school come to drink?
We had sex twice and at Wendy's how dare you diminish that.
I was grinding on him when mosquitoes starting biting us and ruined every damn thing. I just wanted to fuck on a slide under the stars. It's every girls dream.
Oh by "being festive" I mean make tacos for dinner.
I THINK it was the lead singer. Whoever he was, I have his number and his dick was pierced.
It was totally the lead singer.
well. can officially check "get caught having sex on the front porch by the neighbors" off the bucket list.
just yelled CURVEBALL at my nightie because it turned out to be a pair of shorts
2017 is gonna be explosive... Already watching fireworks out the window while shit my brains out. Happy Ew Year
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