maybe i get so drunk and make stupid mistakes cuz Subconsiously im preparing for my real world debut
He def has a gf... But hes 7 feet tall and that superceeds any morality I may have.
Are you pissed because you didn't get action, or the fact i got boned twice in public places tonight?
WERE YOU GOING TO TELL ME THERE WAS A LOAF OF BANANA BREAD IN THE OVEN BEFORE YOU LEFT FOR A 5 HOUR SHIFT??
All I got from that conversation with the officer was "blah blah blah, you're disgusting, blah blah blah, $500 fine, blah blah blah, be in court Tuesday."
Also, not pregnant! Way to go uterus! Good job on being a team player!
I'm at about main and main street
The cute guy in my class hurt himself and is on crutches. My first thought was "Good. He'll be easier to take down." Like he's a gazelle and I'm a dick tiger. What's wrong with me?
Unless you can blow me and bake me a pie at the same time, im not impressed.
All my interactions with my brother are drug deals at this point
I've never had someone so bad at kissing. It was like he was trying to block my airway with his tongue and he succeeded...
She said she was hoping I'd be hotter. I told her I didn't see anybody standing in line to titty fuck her either. She was a great kisser.
In the event that Ian's ex wife asks you, tell her I'm sweet snd innocent. No reason.
Now i know i wasnt that drunk... So why are there texts of me volunteering for a nude photo shoot for an art major student?
Shut up. I hate you. We're doing shots tomorrow. Fuck the consequences.
Randomize
