Conclusion from last night: Sometimes being classy isn't as fun as making out with a guy on a pooltable in a bar. Happy birthday, Canada.
you made sure to tell everyone that the amount of people you had slept with was actually quite low, especially when the size of your breasts was taken into account
May the one with the liver that just won't quit win
Lets play hurricane shelter. And the shelter is my bed, and we forgot our clothes.
At some point during thanksgiving the image of me pooping on ur moms chest will come to you. Your welcome!
Who spent today in nothing but a vajazzle and candy thong? SORRY NOT SORRY
His last Google search was "will sperm ruin the retina display on Apple products?"
We hooked up for a while and on his way out he high fived me and said "stay weird"
He started making out with my boobs. I didn't know whether to be proud of my boobs or ashamed of my mouth.
Idk my boobs are big but i dont think theyre hide a flask in them big..
It's a good thing you're straight. You'd make a horrible lesbian.
Saw the guy I once slept with, he was buying Beer and shit tone of diapers. Glad to see how 2016 will turn out.
he called me ma'am when we were fucking last night...he's five years older than me. I think I'm in love.
He's at Disney with 4 kids and I'm drinking wine from the bottle in bed at 2:45pm. Does it sound like we're compatible??
i woke up fully clothed with teenage dream on repeat. something is wrong with me
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