I told him I'm not paying rent anymore because he's seen my boobs.
Are you trying to threaten my boobs?
im at planned parenthood. the form wants to know what our usual form of contraception is?
anal.
I have before 2 am pics and after 2am pics, which do you want to see first?
i regret nothing . he quoted dr. suess . he deserved that bj .
my debit card account is gonna say movie, movie, ice cream, movie, cheese fries, get a fucking life, movie
Just got a message from a guy on a dating site who says he helped me remove lime pulp from my eye in a club toilet 2 weeks ago.
How do you say "I'm sorry I beat you up while cumming" in German?
I actually don't know if I can stand up. I just know better than to try
He asked if I smoke and I said "only fools like you on the basketball court!" Then I started crying. I think I'm about to have my period.
New definition for "rock bottom": Waking up in a puddle of your own puke, missing your fake tooth. Then having to dig through said puddle of puke for aforementioned fake tooth. Think it's time I quit partying so hard.
Is this your way of breaking up with me as my wingman?
My goal this weekend is to get a number that goes with the penis I take him.
Aspirations
If I wasn't planning on spend the rest of my life with you I wouldn't send you so many nudes, so fucking appreciate it
How much have you had to drink?
Qhaghao Oslo?
That seems like quite a lot.
I put on a face mask and masturbated for an hour... my face now has a green tint
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