that's just what I need...drunk ass people throwin hatchets in the dark.
why does hillary duff have a greatest hits album?
I got so high last night I started crying because i couldn't stop thinking about how scary space is
Blowing lines off from the book where the wild things are... bad babysitter?
girls mom is dying from cancer and she msgs me for a booty call. I guess people cope with their situations differently.
She jerked me off while she drove us back from Denver going 70mph. It was both the scariest and most erotic moment of my life.
just looked up how to break up with someone nicely on google. glad to know im not the only one who looks up this shit.
She played chubby bunny with our cocks.. She got 4
It was mandatory to shotgun a beer before we were allowed to eat dinner
i said she could sleep in my bed and she goes "iiiiiiii warned you. iiiiim a cuddlerrrrrr!" slightly regretting this..
You called me at 2am singing 'happy birthday' while screaming 'I fucking love you' verses, all while eating a burrito and taking a piss off your apartment balcony
Yeah I know, the people below me already told me
My phone now knows what I type and it prompts me with frequently used words. And anytime I use "and" and hit the space key two of the words are "unicorn" and "sausage"
He asked me to spit in his mouth. I did. Never let me hook up with this guy again.
Yeah but I get laid and I know. He drank toilet water last night and he doesn't know about that either. Still makes me happy though.
to improve your porn experience, just imagine a slow speaking older English man narrating it all like a Nature documentary
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