Was i wearing a white blazer when you superpoke danced me??
So there is a chick dressed up in a vagina costume handing out free condoms next to the dude handing out free Bibles and preaching about sin. I love college.
she made me cover her fishbowl with my shirt because she "didn't want to corrupt it."
eye of the tiger was playing while i pooped... it totally helped.
So, after having sex with my 4th overweight girl in 2 weeks, I've decided Charlie Sheen syndrome is ruining my life.
throwing condoms aimed at his crotch probably isn't the politest way to ask for sex
I think my penis ruined a perfectly good friendship.
My vagina senses are tingling. I know your here.
I'm not trying to be dramatic but if someone makes you choose between getting a Brazilian or dying. For the sake of your sanity just fucking die
Sometimes I have to make sure these messages are going to you and I'm not about to give someone in my phone book a heart attack.
I wanna go back to school and change my major to psych just to make a case study out of her
They wouldn't let me on the bull because I couldn't even sign my own name... She let me try 3 times...
Some guy named spider just bought me 5 shots
P.s. I loved that your balls smelled like coconut
He said I was so drunk and high that I had a conversation w/ his goldfish. The video shows me clearly conversing as if talking to a person w/ pauses in conversation and everything
Randomize
