:( I'm sorry!!!
sexual favors sorry?
absolutely not
Was it a mistake telling him I couldn't get the abortion until I was 2 months along on the first date?
Dont you think its a little early in the relationship for sexting?
There is a bruise on my cock the size of a golfball. Bad sign.
And if I hated you I'd probably say things like, "I never want to speak to you again," or, "Eat a bag of dicks." That's how you'd know.
If I am telling you about the details of the shits I take I probably don't want to have sex with you. Probably.
I smell like hot dogs and captain morgan it's 11:20 am what is my life
You also once spent an entire hour explaining the origin of the strip steak to me.
So, left this guys house wearing a #1 Grandpa shirt and I think this is the best sex score I've ever had.
Surprise court date day!!! Wake the fuck up!
Just walked past the field playing Jesus music with a fanny pack full of condoms and beer. Happy Sunday.
He got punched in the face last night? By who? I’ll invite him to our formal. Seriously.
Death by dick. An honorable death. Put a picture of his dick in the photo collage at my funeral.
I would fuck him just for his dog
We played wedding bingo. I made out with the maid of honor and fucked one of the bride’s sorority sisters. But I needed to get with the groom’s cousin, a mother-in-law to be, or the wedding planner to win and I came up short.
Randomize