Jesus can read your poker face... He is not pleased
Mind blown. Apparently, it's PRErogative, not PERogative. I blame Bobby Brown.
ejected that DVD during the department meeting.. it was our porn from last night. I have a new nick-name at work.
Well I don't think you could recreate that hangover if you tried. It was like the perfect storm of hangovers.
I think the neighbors upstairs are trying for more kids. I want to run up there and yell "mazal tov!"
It's like God was speaking to me through a penis.
just got carried INTO the bar by 4 people. it's like watching my weekend in reverse.
okay, certainly we can't screw this up, and even as I type, I know we will
Hey fuck you and your taint. I'm just riding a canoe called life, back the fuck off. P.s. I need a ride
Dude, had to, it's Canada Day, I fucked her for Canada. Seriously, I put my Canadian flag on my bed and fucked her on it.
my dad has now seen 6 different dudes grab my ass. i guess i should start a list.
Just busted the chick who slept with my boyfriend with alcohol. God I love being an RA.
I threw up off of your balcony and it must have been loud because the dog downstairs went insane.
I just kept hitting the drum to get thru the crowd to the bar. Surprisingly it worked
And remember people can't hear you kick ass in space
Randomize
