Where is the hickey?
are you wasted or are you getting laid?
ebdebdebdebd
wow
well my last 2 orgasms were over shoe sales at macy's. what does that tell you?
Fastest blow job ever. Though it was probably a good thing since we were in front of my house.
On campus. Grown men in women's sexy bee costumes. Complete with legwarmers. This cannot be real life.
I told him to pick up the beer can he threw in front of the police station. So he gets out chugs whatever's left and throws it back and says ok let's go.
Let's not fuck on an air mattress tonight...I'd rather get rug burn.
But I wanna cuddle and just put my hand awkwardly close to your penis area by accident and look at you
There a special place in hell for drunk criers. A special FUCKING PLACE
I'm using my ex bfs phone number to look up his Kroger card so I can get a discount on condoms...yep this is my life
Pennsylvania now holds the distinct honor of being the third state I've crapped my pants in.
I got her number but I don't think I'll be able to smash, I was pretending to be British AND I forgot her name
Getting food poisoning after eating at work was the cherry on top of my "Welcome back to real life" sundae.
I showered three hours ago and yet feel the need for another one already. This is my day.
Just stalked the girl I hooked up with last night's boyfriend. He seems nice, I approve.
Randomize
