I think horse shit smells the best of all shits.
I thought pig tail meant you were suppose to grab on to it when getting BJ
all but 2 of were put on probation for disorderly conduct. i know, visiting a hospital when your drunk is really stupid but it seemed like such a good idea at the time
swear to god, "it seemed like a good idea at the time" is gonna be on your epitaph
he literaly had a hockey helmet on and was swan diving off the couch onto the coffee table.
This is the first time I have ever hoped it's poison ivy on my cock
How unacceptable would it be to bar hop with a funnel in the square? It's Halloweekend and I plan on going hard. I can claim it goes w/ my costume. But I don't think the MIMITW uses funnels.
I just heard a 350 lb guy with a stutter describe getting blood in his eye as he was shanking his cellmate and, more generally, how to survive as a white guy in jail.\n\nYou should really consider going to some AA meetings
him and the cab driver we buy e from got into a fist fight, about which show is better, futurama or family guy.
blue gatorade loses no color upon regurgitation
I just broke a sweat masturbating on a Friday night. I may need a boyfriend.
I wanted one last NYC adventure and I got it. Now I just have to figure out a polite way to wake up the pantless former stripper illegal Russian immigrant street violinist chick currently in a vodka coma in my bed.
Just renamed the subject of my sex list on my phone "grocery list" just in case anyone comes across it
it's a shower with the lights off kind of day
He in a way got kinda cockblocked by Jesus
What are u up to today?
Marathon sex and eating.
Randomize
