I feel like I've been slapped by Gods icy cold dick of vengeance.
just drunkenly made mashed potatoes at midnight. what have you done for your calorie intake lately?
something isn't right. i offered to be his sex slave and he declined..
I don't know, But i remember him licking ecstasy off my boobs and my boyfriend cheering him on
Think they will judge us if our pre drink is a kiddie pool of jello shots?
I woke up covered in sausage cart mustard and champagne
Apparently I used ziplock bags to smuggle my drink out with. By pouring it in one, then cut the corner like it was an icing bag later that night. What is wrong with me?
Quick!! What's a good reason for me to have rug burn on my chin?
the bandages come off on Tuesday. we can try out my new breasts then.
Well, I washed his beard with dish soap and then I fucked him three times.
Which one of you drunk assholes put a parental lock on my cable box last night? More importantly, what's the pin? I'm missing the UK game.
I JUST GOT WOKEN UP TO HIM PISSING ON ME SAYING "IT HAS TO HAVE WATER TO GO TO THE BATHROOM" AND AFTER HE FINISHED HE DIDNT REMEMBER DOING IT
Gay?
German.
Pity.
While all of the skanky girls from the crowd got on stage we screamed fair game and scoped out all their boyfriends, she made out with 2, this is what we call taking advantage of the situation
A condom was pulled out of your vagina by a doctor today I do not think you can pull off "closet" hoe anymore
Randomize
