He looked way older than 15. He probably thought that since I have braces I was 15. Fuck. The 6 year age gap is never to be spoken about. Especially because what happened constitutes as illegal.
I'm seeing double. Its like being in a room full of people
so this guy comes in from the patio covered in puke and says "we gotta go"...Yup u need to go is an understatement
Drinking bud light and eating rice cakes...this is the closest to getting in shape for spring break as its going to get.
This flask doesn't match my outfit. I hope the gays don't mind.
For future reference, the words 'big' and 'problem' should be used sparingly with a person whom you have recently had copious amounts of unprotected sex
What's a nice way of saying "You fell asleep, and I got bored, so I made out with your brother"?
I elbow dropped a bag of ice to break it so we could make margaritas. I bled everywhere. Be proud.
No she stopped screaming. Now she's eating popcorn. Off a plate. With a spoon.
THIS IS THE EMERGENCY BOOZE SYSTEM. I AM EN ROUTE TO DEWITT WITH A FIFTH OF TEQUILA. THIS IS NOT A TEST
If a vagina could give out awards, you should be preparing an acceptance speech.
It was a perpetual wrestle for who got to be on bottom. Laziest hookup ever.
We had sex twice and at Wendy's how dare you diminish that.
I'm pretty sure I just won at life. I touched the bushy tail of a squirrel while he had his mouth full and was digging in a plant on campus. That is all.
BRIAN AND ANTHONY SPOON FED MY BROTHER MACARONI AND CHEESE WHILE HE WAS FUCKING ZARA. THEY WENT TO HIGHFIVE HIM AND ZARA WAS LIKE "WOO!" AND HIGHFIVED THEM FIRST
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