i mean really, i cant compete with a cucumber
He kept asking me to take off my bra and I sat up so he could. He fumbled with it for a few minutes and when I sighed and went to undo it he goes, "Yeah, you got this."
part of me always dies a little when i go to the "2 women seeking 1 man" section in craigslist's casual encounters to find nothing there. it's tragic
for a minute I thought I needed to put on pants to go get a burrito, but then I remembered I'm in college
Why would he get rid of a girl with no gag reflex? I don't get it.
Wake and baked to watch the boston marathon. God I love massachusetts
we have 69 mutual friends...i have to add her
We decided that the paper cups disintegrating was god's way of telling us we had had enough
Woke up chewing my pillow from a dream where I was scarfing Cajun pasta from TGI Friday's. That's a new level of fat, even for us
Just puked up hair, tacos and vodka. Hello Memorial Day weekend.
Were at her birthday dinner and her dad keeps buying me shots saying when I was your age I fucked the shit outta girls
Hahahahahaha remind him your dating his daughter
The strip club incident sums up our friendship pretty well
So, what my linguistics project should really be called is "I happen to sleep/makeout with a lot of bilinguals and am now using them to help me graduate"
She has an alarming number of pictures with cat ears but the sex is amazing.
He's on the porch naked. Help.
Randomize
