Bt dubs, I still have cuts on my arm from when you attacked me with a dildo on Saturday night.
i'm sorry, i thought "hey, she wants TO FUCK YOU" was a good enough cue
I just peed on my pajamas. Its gonna be a long night. Don't forget the cookies.
Europeans suck. I just gave him head and somehow i am the one paying for the coffee
Then he wanted a handjob in the car. While my cousin was driving. To krispy kreme. And there was someone else in the backseat.
Jesus...So southern.
I've never heard of anyone celebrating the holidays with a fuck buddies family before.
....I'll be expecting my trophy when I return.
There's someone howling in the parking lot. Haha.
So what kind of fun pills do we have for the amusement park tomorrow?
Why wake up next to a guy when you can wake up next to a bag of chips and not have to worry about what kind of std you might've caught
You should know two things about me,,,1) I am highly sexual and 2) I am HIGHLY competitive so you telling me about how much sex you had with the other girl makes me say "challenge accepted"... you should hydrate.
As I was about to fuck him, he requested a moment of silence for Leonard Nimoy.
This is even better than the wine from my laundry basket
What happened to no more shots?
It went out the window just like my dreams
I someohow managed to lose my butt plug in tne midst of moving to B.C. and I am not a happy camper.
Just left the ER. Only good thing... my hot ass nurse Carlos stripped me.
God works in mysterious ways.
Randomize
