Soo....this goes on the list of odd coincidences. My gyno calls me while I'm going at it, leaves me a message. I check it later... thank God I tested negative.
we are going to smoke at least three blunts before we go see Cloudy with a chance of meatballs. I'm going to have my mom make us spaghetti for when we get out so can your mom make those spicy meatballs? I thought I'd give you 9 days notice so everything's perfect.
While he was going down his phone rang and he answered saying I'll call you later I'm eating.
I was so drunk that I didn't realize he was staying at the Waldorf. I walk of shamed the Astoria, do you even know what this means?
I would like to apologize for asking to take advantage of you, wishing you a horny Hanukkah and whatever "abd ethw prnym to mzbe yur penis cna be friends" means.
You handed me a red solo cup filled with vodka and Bacon. You called it the salty Russian.
It would be like a dance party with a dick inside you. I think that's what Ke$ha wants for the world.
My tits, and hanging out behind a hotel eating pizza.
When Vanessa's kindergarten teacher called me in because she was caught with her hand down some boys pants in the bathroom, I knew you babysat last week.
This guy on the tube is sooooooo high. Eyes are bloodshot and he's licking his headphone cords.
He said that he made a girl squirt to the ceiling and I got curious
He called me in the middle of the night to ask my shoe size. Apparently big feet would make me an unsatisfactory third for the threesome.
Tell him to put up or shut up. Can't be dangling dick in front of ho's without delivering.
It's just disrespectful
drinking vodka out of a wine glass to feel a little bit classier about myself.
HE’S PUKING UP BLOOD
okay all good I mistook strawberita for blood...
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