Draw a picture of yourself puking and peeing on her and give it to her with a note that sys this could be your future if you be my friend
I got an 8 ball and a free entrance pass to the strip club, if i dont get laid tonight I never will.
I mean if she was naked in my room I would talk to her
you just knocked on the window of the ambulance and waved at me as we drove away
...he tried to burn down someone's house once. ABORT ABORT ABORT
The thing is that despite the high paying career and the increased responsibility, my life hasn't changed that much. Only instead of blacking out on $2 wells at some dive I blackout on top shelf martinis in a suit. Oh and only on Fri & Sat nights. Being 30 doesn't suck as bad as everyone led me to believe.
we used the fire extinguisher you had been cuddling with to decorate the cop car while they were inside arresting everyone
Then she cat effected the picture of my dick I sent her the other night. I'm in love.
Is eating fries while lying on the floor bad for you?
If I choke and die at least I will have been doing something I love
Apparently he got pepper spray on his dick. So he's a literal fire crotch.
Was it you I was with where I saw a guy open a beer with his butt?
For the record you're an amazing lay and you have great taste in breakfast sandwiches
Some guy is here to get laser hair removal on his balls. I hate my job.
Wanted to let you know I hooked up with your brother.
i thought he was gay wtf
she hand cuffed me to the bed naked, jumped off the dresser naked, hit her head on the fan and knocked herself out. when her mom came home i had to call her for help, she could have died man...
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