seagrams + popov + pineapple + milk. there, ur search for worlds worst drink is over. you're welcome
Literally just stood in the shower and forgot what to do. that hungover.
and yes, the jail cell in Citi Field does have a big Mets symbol in it
Man, i was looking at the pictures i took last night in one i was on the Kentucky line fist pumping with a hobo..wth happened?
Referring to yourself in third person during sex is apparently an instant turn off
The smoke alarm went off as soon as we opened the closet.
Btw...pregnancy boobs are amazing. I don't recommend pregnancy in general but the boobs are good.
Just found a pic on my phone of you on squatting on the hood of a police car about to take a dump. Care to explain what happened last night?
I just had a threesome in the back of my mom's van. I'm pretty sure the rest of my week is going to be epic.
Happy meals everywhere. I think Ronald McDonald Claus visited.
I forgot to tell you. Your neighbor was walking his tiny dog and saw me crawl out of my jeep drunk vomiting and holding onto my bumper. He just said: morning! all friendly.
Saw the same Luigi I hooked up with last Halloween. Still in his same Luigi costume and scruff that hurt my face
He was the highest I've ever seen. Almost had him convinced there are only three colors in the rainbow...
Definitely just poured my beer into a McDonald's cup so I could walk through Walmart without judgment. 'Murica.
He kept telling me that he didn't serve two tours in Iraq for my bitch ass to drink banana rum.
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