you took a scissor and started screaming "I WANNA KNOW WHAT ITS LIKE TO BE BALD"
He said he had to make up a lie of why he couldnt sleep with her. It must really suck to have a sunburned dick.
A shower wasnt enough to wash off the shame but at least it took care off the blood.
You tried to luge a beer down a flip flop.
Im about to embark on a date with someone who shit in my car. How did this become my life?
The beer-amid has reached five feet. Caitlyn has a taser. GTG
I ended up with bruises on the back of my knees. Tell me again how I did this?
Theme for your birthday? Beer olympics in S&M costumes? Sounds like a nice little saturday
I'm the one on the patio wearing underwear. Holding a pipe. Pigtail and glasses. Can't miss me.
And then she said "wanna make a vine of me twerking on the wall?"
He had a small dick anyway. I'm glad I barfed on it.
He's a drill sergeant! The sadomasochist in me can't resist that.
whatever. i just wanna get "forget my own name" wasted
no. you need to know your name so people know where to return you when you get lost.
I just remembered that I insisted everyone watch porn together last night.
Nana added me on facebook...i think i'll have to call her and warn her about my lifestyle before i confirm her as a friend.
Randomize
