Come on the kid is gayer than me
Like the straightest thing he could do right now is take it up the butt
My dad just came home, said hi to mom and me in the kitchen, and then said "I'm gonna go inject my blood with iguana saliva".
WHY AM I ALWAYS THE GAY FRIEND?!?!
all i wanna do is drink skittled vodka, fuck my gf, and pass out in my neighbors hot tub naked
What if I told you that I had 160 ounces of cheap malt liquor in my backpack? Espn films 40 for 40s presents: Edward 40 hands. Our room. 11PM/10 central
according to last night, I underestimated the size of my mouth and the possibilities of what can fit into it.
Just blew a guy who had the same phone case as me. It was destiny.
Our DD has become famous. Strippers are asking to be handcuffed to him.
Kick open the door, strike a pose, steal a boyfriend, end scene.
Hey know anyone who wants 58 lbs of whole frozen chickens for a couple bowls?
I should have known when she said it would be "fun" we'd end up in the hospital
I’ve cut back on drinking and now my body can’t fight off all the bad germs without the alcohol. That’s why I keep getting sick
annnnd thats why you don't tip your waiter by flashing them
I can still taste your cum in my mouth and my in-laws are coming over. This should go well.
Funniest thing happened to Chloe! She talked the bf into a mmf threesome, and he loudly and enthusiastically discovered he was gay during it. Whole dorm literally heard it happen.Well funny for me. Chloe not so much.
Randomize
