really keith? you showed me your dick and your not gonna text me back
Their wedding is on my 21st birthday. I fail to see a way that this could end poorly.
i think there mostly mad about the fact it was 6 pm not the fact i blew a .255
I was chocking and even did the sign for it..And you continued to just laugh
Do you remember that time on the drunk bus when I kept thanking the bus driver for serving our country?
its friday night, im aone in my apartment and eating 2 year expired canned fruit, naked. i'm not single or anything..
Just came out of my room at 8 AM to find 2 pounds of raw hamburger and a half eaten cake strewn across the hallway. And I'm not surprised at all.
Yeah you insisted everyone watch Space Jam at 2 in the morning then you cried the whole way through it. You were the very worst kind of drunk.
Me and him getting it in is for special occasions only. Like Christmas and when they bring the McRib back.
I asked her why she was drunkenly masturbating to Iron Man and all she replied was "Robert Downey Jr". As far as excuses go, that seemed pretty legit.
we just ate hash browns in a nativity scene with baby jesus
Do you guys think there will be a coke-for-Molly barder at bonnaroo?
I just need you to stay far enough away that I can't smell your cologne. I completely forget that I fucking hate you as soon as I smell it.
Turns out my mom didn't really want to know I was in a new dimension last night from smoking so much.
the only fun thing to do here is drink beer and make mistakes. i feel like im in college again
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