Ppl just aren't as funny as we are
im shaking like a drug addict and i almost just shat my pants when i sneezed...no more patron for me
I feel like she's the kind of girl who always ends up with guys who have oddly shaped dicks..
The vomit I understand but how is there seaweed in my bed?
His body is just chiseled out of sex. I would let that man do anything to my body. Including fuck me while my parents watch
i just like, need to vent to someone
Can we skip the part where I pretend to care and fast forward to the appreciative blowjob from you?
I do believe at one point I was dispensing medical advice while wearing your sombrero and a hulk hand
Once again I am on the toilet and refuse to get up
What a great time to reflect on life
I miss using glorious as an adjective. I'm gonna start doing that again. And I'm gonna try to get cuntatrosphe in there some more, too.
I think i should either cut my hair or buy a dildo.
Actually we have similar relationship styles aka no relationship... it could work
found my cat trying to steal a lighter to hide away for himself. cat what are you doing. don't pocket my lighter.
i think i just naturally attract stoners
one week and then i'm back on the sexual grind. a party is being planned in my vagina's honor
I'm at home 4 xanax deep watching She's all that.. no I don't want to go out. The couch is eating me.
Randomize
