nothing tight i'm going to stuff myself with food and alchy
The more I sober up, the more sick I am/realize how weird dancing around a wine bottle was
OMG THIS GUYS LICENSE PLATE IS GETTNHRWET
you never know, standards drop, they turn gay, shit happens.
I put a toilet paper roll with my number on it by his face... hooking up is not happening
We fucked to showtunes. Never going out with a theatre major ever again.
It's not socially acceptable to be drunk in adult world. That fact makes me die a little inside.
Sometimes I just want to serenade his penis with cheesy 80s songs.
Hungover, threw up in a cosmetic case in my car this morning. This is real life.
he said didn't have much sexual experience and then proceeded to tell me he is going to make me cum harder than my vibrator could
well, that escalated quicky
You just accidentally called me. You kept saying "Really?! Really?!!" So I can only assume you are having sub par sex
Someone called asking about the gate code and I said "hashtag" for # instead of "pound." Ugh. I feel so dirty.
This is the worst drive ever. Im hungry, hungover, i gotta shit so bad, and the only radio station im getting clearly is playing alvin and the chipmunks christmas songs
I just got out of the shower and I feel like I just washed off 10 lbs of bad decisions...
Just walked into the supermarket puking into a plastic bag while wearing my favorite Bob Ross shirt. I am a human disaster.
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