id be glad to
The Redheads category on Pornhub is my number 2 site behind facebook on google chrome. I think I have a problem
hey can i ask you a kinda weird question?
i know what the question is. yes they are bigger, and no i did not get plastic surgery
His shirt was in the kitchen sink this morning, I'm pretty sure my roommates know.
you know...the drug dealer i named my baby after.
Our cab driver looks like Kim Jong il, and you're missing a fascinating conversation about Katie wanting to be carbon dated.
I woke up and the only 2 bowls I own were shattered on my floor. Pretty sure my hand and tailbone are broken and I have no idea what the fuck happened
I vote for a trading skills night. You teach me to juggle, I'll teach you knife fighting, and we'll both learn banjo
My underwear said "hard to get" on the butt. He laughed when he took them off.
We need a full length mirror. I just ate it trying to look at my shoes on the toilet. But aside from a arm bruise I'm good to go
See, this is why we give you shit. Ashley gets her car cleaned out, I get multiple enchiladas made, and you get cum in your eye.
I need to get some goddam control over my hormones
you woke me up at 1am last night high on cough syrup to tell me jay z was an idiot for cheating on beyonce
i was sitting on the kitchen floor shaking my gallon of vodka at people and asking if they wanted to climb the heaven hill... getting dumped is the best thing that has ever happend to me
He grabbed at it like it was a stress ball or something. It's a boob, not a grapefruit. The fuck.
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