I haven't seen him in over a year. He asked me to his prom over myspace. Is he fucking serious?
I would go down on you faster than GM stock
I texted her sayin "I gotta brush my teethn then Im omw" maybe hint to do the same
anyone who says 'i love you' and then followed by 'im going to call the cops if you touch me' doesnt really mean the first part fyi
she said her black crocs were her 'dress up crocs'
the last three girls i tried to get with all believed in abstinence... i think gods trying to keep me from being a father
i think girls just don't want to fuck you
Just had a handjob preempted by a huge bolt of static electricity leaping from her fingertip to my sack. I hate this time of year.
Omg. I bid $3000 on a cave in Afghanistan on EBay last night.
This whole night would have been avoided if the liquor store had air heads
all im saying is that if he was a normal person, he would have fucked me by now.
The rest of us are chipping in to soundproof your bedroom. This is getting ridiculous.
Found out people don't like it when you get drunk at fundraising auctions and bid in foreign currencies.
After we got done he told me to hold his penis because it helps him fall asleep
If my eyeballs could make a sound to describe how they feel they would just say uhhhhhhhhggggggghhhhhh.
I never thought I'd say this but there's too many dicks around here.
Randomize
