only if we run a train.
done.
Then he told me I had the most beautiful looking vulva
she was home schooled till college. were she learned how to give the most amazing blowjobs is still a mystery.
My grandma paid her handyman in pain killers. I now know why this is in my genes
If fate has that penis in my future.....I'm down.
sometimes when i'm drunk i choose the spanish option on the ATM to challenge myself.
You have permanently scared my back with your nails. I would like to congratulate you on a job well done.
Dude the animal human society told us we could get a dog when we came back sober. I cant wait.
Just went trick or treating in my kitchen. Found chocolate and scotch. Happy fucking Halloween
Maybe there is a secret pocket full of cocaine in that spiderman wallet.
Went to a wedding reception last night, came home with a Christmas tree and the rest of the keg
It tastes like you we're too lazy to shower and instead just sprayed yourself with Febreeze.
You have a very discerning palate.
NO. FUCK YOU. I HOPE SOMEONE REPLACES YOUR LUBE WITH HOT SAUCE.
I took a picture of you last night while you were drunk, trying to smoke a bowl through your nose. It's now your contact id.
I just heard a crying baby from out my apartment window and yelled SAME
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