And now I'm afraid that I'm a pornographic eater.
i really wish facebook had an app for when you are looking at a chick's photo album, you could just skip to the ones where she and/or her friends are dressed like skanks
i should write a book entitled 'the joys of being sexually objectified'
One of the cleaning ladies on my floor just screamed from the bathroom
i'm going through the NYU 2014 group looking for future drunken hookups. too slutty?
NC is no longer selling 190 proof Everclear. We are officially no longer the greatest state.
Word is he has some crazy hawaiian STD
She gained 35 lbs and has an ankle bracelet, time for new booty call.
Need. Hospital. Physically am floating.
Seriously, I want to give you a plaque thanking you for your dedicated service to my vagina.
WHAT THE FUCK KIND OF NINTENDO FILLED GLORIOUS ENCHANTING FANTASY LAND ARE YOU IN?! DUDE DID YOU MOVE TO THE 90S?!?!?!
You know you're in the hamptons when it's 10pm And you kind of want to vomit white wine on rug that costs more than your apartment.
Geez don't go to a bar for a few days and everyone freaks out.
Ultimate fat girl moment: I promised him my mouth for the night if he bought me a funnel cake..
Just got a handjob in my psych lecture. You were right, going to class is paying off.
Randomize
