At the T-Rex bar with my nephew...only in Disney can I have a beer and a soda at the bar with a 4 year old
i don't know where i am. i made bad decisions. i think this guy is dead.
6 other girls and I took an ice cream truck to the bar when we couldn't get a cab. Best birthday ever.
I have so many hands. So. Many. Hands. I can feel arms that I don't have yet. They tickle. I can see the blood in my eyes. I think something is happening. The hands!!! I'm ticking myself with hands I don't have yet! I can't stop giggling about my notyet hands!
It's just weird. It's like Big Bird dating Meg Griffin.
I am in his childhood bedroom and I feel like his trophies are applauding me and his stuffed bunny is disgusted with me. Did you know he was a mathlete?
Lets just make a point system, like if we have sex add a point, if they leave after take away a point, if they stay all fucking day take away a point
Judging by your snapchat you're totally working on your project and definitely not singing, "The Sign" while shirtless with another man.
He is so sweet! He thanks me for sending him dirty pix. I should keep him.
You were a for sure 10. You put on a traffic cone to meet someone.
When ur uncle gives you free weed, you take it
Can you come unlock the door? I just peed myself on the porch.
Turns out that Irishman put my panties under his pillow afterward. Thanks?
NO FUCKING RANDOMS IN AN ALLEY
It's not even 8:30a, wine glass is broken, there's sugar everywhere, and your mom just asked me what MILF means.
Randomize
