And then I watched some old guy get arrested for meeting some other old guy for a blow job. It was epic.
Sorry I didn't wanna double team his sister. Having whiskey dick and watching you get laid didn't sound appealing
I got kicked out of an open bar wedding reception. The bride "felt threatened" by my presence. Not my fault she's ugly
i just declared my major based on how close the department building was to our apartment. laziness has been brought to a new level
not the best booty call
did she squirt?
only if tears count
Just warning you the last time I had captain Morgan I gave a blow job to a guy that looked like Jesus.
And I'd make him talk dirty to me. In Forrest Gump's voice.
I forgot how weird my hair bleaches and now I'm a calico
You can wake up to my rainbow of failure
Jenna, I'm going to use all my homosexual powers to steal him from you
Austin, I will climb on top of your shoulders and slowly suffocate you with my vagina
Wanna know what sucks. Banging the bosses daughter at work and having the boss walk in while you are fucking on his desk. Good day though. Made 6 sales
If it was any colder outside, the frost from my breath would make a mixed drink
do me a favor, I need this weekend off so can you work your magic and blow my boss again?
I woke up to him crying and pouring pixy stix in my mouth saying they would bring me back to life.
Hey bro are you still alive??? I'm sure you are wondering how you ended up laying on the floor at the foot of your bed and why there is a wheelchair by your door....
I was giving him head and he slipped one of those hats with propellors on top on my head.
Randomize
