The human being growing inside of her was a mistake. Lets just hope the boyfriend isn't.
the next pure michigan commercial i see, i am going to pee in a fucking lake
Can we talk about the cons of throwing up in the bathtub. there are no pros.
He is going to sleep with me. That's all there is to it. I'm 4 for 4 right now. I'm not making it 4 for 5.
He posted on my wall. Idk if I'm ready for that big of a commitment.
I think they can follow the trail of blood to my house if they have a problem with me taking a dip in their hot tub last night b4 stepping on a broken bottle
You are so predictable. I am willing to bet 20$ that instead of going out you are sitting on your couch, stoned, watching Seinfield re-runs and eating cheezits.
1. they're goldfish. 2 fuck you
He said he actually "met" me for the first time through a picture his housemate had of me, drunk and passed out in a pool of my own vomit, on the floor of his basement.
But lunch with my dad really just means an hour and a half of him telling me how he's disappointed and how he knows I'm on drugs
She said her name is "Goose" and regardless of her being a lesbian, sometimes she just "needs a good dick"
Our lives are a motherfucking joke
I'm not even 100% sure what it is, but if it involves Thor and Doritos, I'm in
That's it. I'm moving to LA & sitting on his face.
Literally just took 6 shots in the shower..I’ve got this.
Life is clearly unfair. You remember Courtney has three older sisters, well they're all "make baby sister look like a four" hot. I knew I shouldn't go home with her.
Randomize
