I haven't seen him in over a year. He asked me to his prom over myspace. Is he fucking serious?
bahahahaha i would laugh soo hard if someone did this for me hahahaha this guy would become my best friend
How young is too young to ask my kid to make me a drink?
She’s leaving for college so I made her a gift basket with all the essentials. You know- Ramen, a 12 pack of PBR, some leftover Plan B pills and a laminated business card for a good lawyer. Damn I’m a good big sister.
He played with my vagina like it was a turntable
If God had a period, it would result in diet faygo redpop
I just saw a woman point to her daughter and scream at her husband THIS IS YOUR GENES, THIS IS YOU.
I wish Denzel Washington would coach my flip cup team..
doing a bong hit while wearing crest white strips...not such a great idea...
How is it that you get into at least one taco related fight a year?
At least he's enough of a gentleman to not make me do the walk of shame dressed as Santa.
Well my unnaturally hairy chest finally came in handy. It took at least an hour to shave the american flag into my chest but I definitely went America all over that party
I told her I was going to masterbate myself into a coma... We have another date on Thursday.
I didn't pay $79 for lingerie for you to cum in 30 seconds
Stop confusing me with every girl you know that doesn't like sex.
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