Your sister got a Brazilian yesterday. It looks great
we hooked up. but it was that weird mix of getting naked and watching Balto that made it so awesome.
will emailing you the 64 kama sutra positions I want to try during the 3 days your here turn you on or terrify you?
He leaned in to kiss me and I dodged him but i fell on the floor. I guess I never got up cuz I woke up on the floor and he was in his bed
I'm in Starbucks carrying the boxes wine and the hubcap. So many judging looks.
I have full custody of my vagina however you are granted visiting hours
I just told him I want him to "take the reins". At least its festive sexting?
She needs more friends. Or a second therapist.
I just walked out topless, stared his brother straight in the eye, and ate all the rest of their cookie dough.
Thanks for the Beyonce article. In other news, I just passed a man with the state of Florida tattooed on his face.
I was going to learn how to knit but I got high instead.
There's a guy masturbating in front of Sephora right now
So now I'm just going to brush my teeth, get high, and go to sleep. Like an adult
Afterwards I drank a whole bottle of cake vodka in the bathtub while he was bawling his eyes out. Hands down weirdest hookup I've ever had.
Seriously, I really just burned my nipple making ravioli.. I'd explain, but no reasoning makes this acceptable:/
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