So how gross is it that Woopie Goldberg has a vagina? She's like the exact opposite of a boner....
Ambien does the same to me. One time that I took it, I got this huge bowl of spaghetti out of the fridge and thought it was a castle and that the meatballs were little slaves. I ate all of them first and then the noodles were the soldiers and the sauce was the water in the moat. And when I finished, I fell up the stairs and threw it all up.
Just picture a dyson vacuum with razor blades. That's how it felt.
Wake up, take the dog to the trails, puke in the woods. More days should start like this.
My vagina is trying to run away to Boston without me.
She's cute, but batshit. Like some kind of dominatrix disney princess.
I'm actually not sure I need to run today, between the crazy monkey sex and breaking into my own house.
Also I owe you 20 bucks, a clean towel and a glass of scotch. I'll even throw in a blow job
So the TSA can feel me inside and out in front of 40 people, but they catch me fucking in the bathroom 20 feet away and all of a sudden their the decency police
How do you tell a woman that you are seeing that the scars on your back are from her awesome-in-bed little sister?
1. Why did we have the team Chirstmas party in November 2. Why didn't anyone tell me the coaches were invited 3. Why did coach get the giant vibrator I brought
How did you tell her we met?
I told her that we met at the sex shop down the street, I thought it would be the most reasonable explanation.
i think it’s okay to see him. you just can’t wind up with his penis in your mouth again
Just saw Little Red Riding Hood riding a guy on hood of a car
Good for her for committing to the costume
So what if is hockey, you don’t turn down sex with a professional athlete. They work out all day and have amazing stamina. Your vagina will thank you!
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