OKAY SO WHENEVER I SEE AN UGLY COUPLE I ALWAYS WONDER WHAT THEY SAY TO EACH OTHER IN BED. creepy?
I asked him how he was going to celebrate tomorrow and he said "tits, clits, and bong hits"
i have a surprise for you that looks bigger since I found my body hair trimmer
They are baked and once again have spent the last 45 mins talking about opening up a world wide business called "pickle on a stick"
I just wanna go home eat some pizza rolls, get warm and jerk off, and it's only 845. This shit was supposed to make me see unicorns. Not cry
oh dont worry, my liver will give out way before i get skin cancer
I mean Grimace is basically just a big piece of purple shit and he is loved way more than the hamburglar just to put it into perspective
I managed to make myself a bowl of apple jacks, took one bite and had to stop eating them because they were making my brain wiggle. How was your comedown?
And apparently i asked another younger guy at the bar if he wanted his bud light pumped straight into his vag. As i put back an irish car bomb...
Is it rude to ask for an autograph after giving him a blowjob in their hotel's hot tub?
I walked over and you were apologizing to him because you're lady gaga and he's not. The best part was that he forgave you.
There’s nothing that says motivation more than watching these little geniuses on Kids Baking Championship New Year’s Day. I’m ready to fuck shit up this year.
hotelroom bed is big enough to masturbate in, but small enough to not want to sleep in it after you've masturbated in it
yeah i ran into him at the bar at 11pm. he started talking about engineering and the next thing i know it's 4am and i'm naked on top of him.
OH GOD IT TASTES LIKE IT SMELLS
Randomize