you threw up in thedumpster behind red robin
and kept yelling "DIRTY BIRD"
walk of shame with early morning football tailgaters. niice.
We were making out in the bushes when some dude comes and starts peeing beside us.
I don't remember which guy I met at the bar is coming to pick me up. It will be like my birthday surprise.
Just wanted to remind you that you literally cut the underwear off a man.
OH MY GOD MY GRANDMA JUST SHOWED ME HER BOOB OH. MY. GOD.
it's just one of those nights where i don't care if anyone sees my vagina
I just spent my entire state tax return on sex toys
You straight up wore me out. This should be a proud moment for you. It's almost like my penis is asking for a timeout. But not really
Lets both be adults and never talk about last night again.
Note to self: don't try to shave your legs when sex-sore. You CANT reach, stop trying.
We got stuck in traffic in the tunnel while we were smoking weed. We were afraid to air out the car.
Omg I just woke up in his bed.. I'm fully clothed and he is naked. I'm so confused.
she just kept straddling the railing to the stairs and shouting "come on Seabiscuit, lets win this for America."
I know you're having a really bad day and I'm a little to blame for that and I'm sorry. To make your day go better just try to imagine what people's fuck faces look like.
Randomize
