i guess it's bad bediquette to quote the kool aid man
?
he said oh yeah and i responded with OHH YEAHHHHH!
I can't, I'm busy. I've been walking around Tokyo on google maps for an hour.
Reggie can tackle my bush.
It's refreshing to see you in something that is stained with something other than vomit and spilled alcohol.
I know I hit you with my car but people express love in different ways. Everyone is different.
She keeps referring to it as an "us" Either she is seriously mistaken on what fuck buddies are or she learned another meaning of the word "us"
i'm reaslly not drunk enough to wtch the fat lesbian on my floor brng another fat lesbian dressed up as a bloody nurse into her room at 2am
Dude it's bad when your 10 year old son makes fun of your penis size.
I just closed two deals on my laptop from my bathroom while smoking a bowl, like a bawssss. Working from home is my favorite.
I made friends with the delivery guy because he had beautiful dread locks and was a Zelda fan. He texted me after he left saying he wasn't trying to be creepy but we should be friends. We're hanging out tomorrow.
How does this kind of shit happen to you?!
This lady gave me four cups to go along with my gallon of daiquiri. Silly girl, all I need is a straw.
Dude. She was wearing nothing but Wonder Woman panties and a flag for a cape and sneaking around leaving PBR's by passed out people for the morning. She called herself the 'Merica Fairy.
Why haven't you proposed already?
Remember how I made that resolution to remain celibate for 6 months? Well, I just broke that
You literally made that 4 hours ago...
you went over there?
His drunk texts were grammatically perfect. At least our kids will be smart.
Just hit on a girl with the line, "You look like Natalie Portman if she did drugs". Strike 1
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