have you ever wondered what it would feel like to stick those coneheads in your vaj
omg every time its on
im covered in puffy paint and glitter i cant find kevin and im wearing shoes that dont belong to me....come get me please
I woke up naked in my own vomit. Not even in my bed. No one is happy.
I woke up covered in blue paint and my knee bleeding, when I went to return the shopping cart the guy in the elevator laughed hysterically. I'm having a good morning.
Make good choices ;) This is your automated cockblock message
Need a travel agent to tell me which countries in Asia have legalized prostitution for New Year. Fireworks would be cool too.
so he woke up after being passed out and yelled that he had brought back moon rocks for everybody...
he came in the room wearing gloves & rapping while eating a corndog
knight in shining armor
We were basically fucking on the dance floor. People kept buying us drinks. It really only encouraged us.
Yep. My memoirs will be called "A Slore Worth Mentioning"
I slept naked with a towel wrapped around my waist in case I pissed the bed again
The way I kissed her was actually pretty charming and then it devolved to car sex
He's got a british accent, a tounge ring, and he's wearing an eye patch... Of corse I'm fucking him
For real his Facebook page says he studied "sexual arts" at some random college I've never heard of. You've been warned.
I’m 37 with a career and a home and yesterday my niece set up Snapchat so I can sext with my 22 year old boyfriend/fuck buddy. Yes. Yes I’d say I need help?
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