awww and there was just a proposal on stage with the pussycat dolls !!!!!
Did someone propose they get off the stage?
whoa...plan B gets you drunker quicker.
Using pot as a way to stop crying probably isn't a good sign huh?
Meh, some people pop Prozac, you smoke weed. Po-tay-to. po-tah-to
would you kill someone to have someone deliver pancakes to you when you were high?
I really need to learn how to handle sexual advances from older women
I wish I had your problem
I'm at verizon, the guy asked me why my phone is full of seeds. Deff. Not leaving my phone with you anymore.
I JUST SHOOK HIS GRANDMOTHER'S HAND. WITH COCK HANDS. THIS IS NOT FUNNY.
It feels kinda weird thanking you for sucking my dick, but I just don't know what else to do right now
They told you that you couldn't fit in the dryer. Man, did they eat their words. You did brake the door though.
It's hard to be judgmental of others when you are wearing silver pleather.
So I found out me and this guy I was drinking beer with tonight both got lactated on by the same stripper. We're milk brothers.
it is my last wish that my tale be published posthumously as a warning to anyone thinking of eating burger king at nine am
In all honesty the person most likely to secretly slip me drugs would be ... Me
You need to stop telling people you gained weight over the holidays. You've been fat since July.
I just sharted for the first time in my life. Age 33. Lying in bed. Sober. 2021 is off to a great start!
Randomize