You talked to that cop for like 15 minutes and when you got back, you told us you were "networking".
The state of Wisconsin is just irresponsible for letting me buy this many fireworks
We are gonna be 90 years old in wheelchairs at the nursing home sitting at computers poking each other and waiting for the other to die so we will have the last facebook poke.
Well regardless of where or with who you will be blacking out and i will be pouring shots down ur throat like a baby bird
Just had such a rough shit, don't stop believin had to be played
You should have seen her, she looked like a skinny Jabba The Hutt
That literally makes no sense
Exactly
That is true. Vodka is like a dog. Always loyal, warm, and there for you when you need it
At one point I thought we were going to have to fuck our way out of their apartment
I went to McDonald's this morning still half drunk with penises drawn all over my body, when my card was declined the cashier asked if I needed Jesus
Where can I buy a stripper pole at midnight on a Sunday?
I just used crown royal bags as pot holders...
Good morning love! Friendly reminder that we decided to make leggings with a vagina zipper. "For the winter quickie"
She picked me up from the bar in her underwear.
I just want you to know when I bang him in the back of my car later I'll have pony by ginuwine on repeat
walk of shame across osu's campus on game day. i can see all the spots i threw up last night. its like my personal yellow brick road.
Randomize
