TYLER... glimpse of last night: leather chaps, guacamole dip, a jump rope, spray paint, and rhinestone studded pajamas.
i think you have the wrong number... but your story sounds delightful.
I've spent 9 hours vomitting in the fetal position... how did i stay like this for 9 months?
True Life: I hate vaginal excretions
I'll show rhose boucners: You don't let me in, I poop on your pool.
the problem with open bar is i never know what to get
did you really just start a sentence with "the problem with open bar is..."
she kept calling me pablo. i just went with it.
He jacked off on my pillow when he found out I left. It was like coming home and finding that your dog, with separation anxiety, had pooped in your shoes. I think I'm flattered...
So where are we on this whole, you write my paper...i do sexual favors situation?
He needs to stop telling me how much he respects me. What does that even mean
i just had to pick up my 18 year old cousin from the police station for hosting a party, and i had to do this stoned wow
Seriously. Are we going out tonight? If we're not, I'm going to put on sweatpants and do drugs.
she told him my safe word. I'm gonna casually work it into conversation and at him suggestively to see if he realizes i want to have rough sex with him
Watching porn.....Adele is playing in the background...so many emotions right now...so many.
Remember that one time you told the bartender he was fuckable? Well, he's here.
So I hung out with an australian but woke up with a British man in my bed does that make me culturalized
Randomize
