Ok pretty sure I just saw Mike O'Malley walking through the parking lot. I wanted to see if I followed him, would he lead me to the acro-criag, i've always wanted a crack at that bitch.
I just said that Oprah is crazy and like 5 fat white girls jumped down my throat. I sat back and smiled.
I can handle NPR. I speak hippie. I took it in college.
So it turns out there are pros and cons to having a broken wrist. Pro: I can give amazing blowjobs with my left hand. Con: I just had to open a packet of crisps with scissors.
The only good thing about trampolines when you're fucked up is the gushing blood really cleans all the bad coke out of your nose.
my goal is to masturbate without thinking about my exbf.
My sugar daddy is a bigger asshole than i am. What's wrong here?
Yes, I have your ice luge mold. I'll do a prisoner exchange for the beer bong
In other news I may have fractured my masturbating arm
At least it wasn't your drinking arm
If I had a dollar for every straight boy that questioned their sexuality because of me, I would live a comfortable middle-class life.
I feel like a girl who eats her problems away with fast food.
When all else fails, you can always look down at your enormous penis.
We just broke up and deleting his dick pics is the hardest thing I've ever had to do.
Lets get drunk. But not too drunk that I can't work in the morning. But maybe drunk enough so we'll make out
You kissed my hand and then put a Taco in it. Why WOUDNT I leave my husband?
You're lucky I just like fucking you because you would really suck at being a boyfriend.
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