the crunchwrap supreme is the def leppard of the taco bell menu
which is why it's clearly superior
I woke up to a topless girl handing me a blunt. Candidate for greatest wake-up ever?
I thought that since they were twins... they would be equally as good in bed
It snowed today. The whore-inducing weather is official over.
Registered sex offender is the model in class today.... There are too many things wrong with him getting naked in front of a lot of college students.
explain the broken jalepenos in my underwear drawer?
got high to the hills theme song. FEEL THE RAIN ON YOUR SKIN. no regrets.
im like basted in vodka, i went tanning and it was like i was an alcoholic turkey being cooked in a locker of doom
OMGGG I JUST SAW A REAL OWL JUST CHILLING ON TOP OF A SIGN POST. I WALKED UP TO HIM AND SAID HOO HOOOOO AND HE TURNED HIS HEAD AT ME AND WAS LIKE YEAHHH BRO
I snorted a few ambien and woke up here. A lady banged on our door, waking us up, demanding our towels.
Please send me a thumbs up pic afterwards. No homo. After you've redressed and are heading for the walk of shame out of course
She failed the Charleston discretion test, although puking in her armpit was very innovative.
I was just wicked nice to a telemarketer... that's how stoned this woman got me.
Have you ever thought, hey maybe the reason we were togather that long was because I was drunk the whole relationship?
dude im trying to eat his ass so can you stop for 10 minutes
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