Thanks for last night it was amazing as always
What are you talking about
You've got to be kidding me
He's a collector of sorts
Any cool stuff?
You should see the collection of booggers in the carpet next to his desk
Just found out you can rent the rollerena for 100 bucks and you can bring your own beer... when are you free this week?
I made my rape whistle into a roach clip device. FRESHMAN YEAR!
youre not allowed to be friends with girls ive double teamed. period.
This guy just tried to hit on me on facebook. His most recent listed education is middle school. This is my life.
A whole bunch of large men eating Doritos just knocked on my door and asked if they could take out my trash?
First booty call in Europe.. In Barcelona. With a German. In broad daylight.... Is that how they do it here?
I called her 20 times. Apparently she went home to do MORE shots before bed. Didnt miss me until this morning. WHO FORGETS THEIR HIGHSCHOOL SISTER AT A FRAT?
He's probably the biggest I've seen outside of the porn I vehemently deny watching and he asks if I think he's too small
Are you okay? You're not sitting at home on facebook. I'm worried about you.
I feel like I lost a fight with an 800 lb gorilla made of tequila
Stop talking and go back to bed. You're in the kitchen in your underwear and slept in your car.
Had sex on the beach last night with a drug dealer. win-win-win situation
Gave a guy a blowjob in a convent. Place in hell is now secured...
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