I just encouraged Kelsey to make out with some guy for beer so I could take one, does this make me a pimp?
By definition I think it does.
So this is what it feels like to be all that is man.
well you can't waste a boner
You know its bad when you're praying for a hangover just so you aren't still drunk at work anymore.
Just saw the new iPhone. I would totally let Steve Jobs and Jon Ive eiffel tower me right now.
That sucks. I just talked to a telemarketer for 15 minutes about CSI: Miami and weed.
I just canoed to the bar. I am a skilled drunk paddler.
So "Abstinence August" was a bust. Maybe I'll try for "Sex-free September" or "Only if we're facebook official October"
My hope for you over spring break is that you can be some disease free girl's random spring break mistake.
Dont make this weird.... I was wondering if I could paper mache a few of your dildos this weekend?
I don't remember but we shouldn't have a problem. Unless drunk you encouraged drunk me not to wear a condom.
I think we have a problem.
I felt so bad but my urge to be with you & drunkenly eat your face was apparently much stronger.
I've done dumber things than this for flimsier reasons. Come with. If I pull it off I need a witness, and if I fail I need an escape plan.
That cat I follow on Facebook beat cancer so we're drinking tonight in celebration
Hey, do you know the person who woke me up last night at 1 in the morning yelling and being carried through the courtyard?
That was me Mom...
I came so hard my ears popped.
Randomize
