So im pretty sure the object of my emotional onterest is tired of playing with me....
Only in Montana can you find Septic Services that would display "Christian owned and operated" on the side of the truck. I'm oddly going to miss this state.
I didn't sleep with her. I'm boycotting arizona and she's from phoenix.
apparently i was just sitting there with my shirt down holding my boobs saying "its ok. its all gonna be ok"
The bet was for naked jumping jacks. And it back fired, she just laughed at all the slapping noise.
Need your help. Dad's drunk and trying to build a still in the basement.
NM he's asleep in a pile of towels. They need to ease people back into Hockey Night in Canada.
This chick had a microhand. Fucking, like, jerking off a baby carrot would make it look like corn.
My tub is filled with twinkies which would be awesome if they were still wrapped and not floating in a mixture of bath water and what appears to be vomit.
Had a dream I cut my own dick off. That's it I gotta see a doctor...
Umm
Exactly.
We got a noise complaint for vacuuming too much but not for getting really high and yelling about peanut butter
so at 3am I stumbled into my parents house and crawled into bed with them, I need to start dating.
His dick is pure magic - dark, powerful, beautiful magic. It's the Elder Wand of penises
I sent my brother over to my ex's to get the rest of my stuff. He comes back SEVEN HOURS LATER, high as fuck without my shit! No loyalty.
he's annoying when i'm sober but vaguely hot when i'm drunk so yes i do have a preference and it goes by the name of vodka
This is a hangover from hell. Delivered by the devil himself.
Randomize
