ADVERTISEMENT

• (323): View more from California

  are you serious?? is your clit as sensitive as your emotions

  (310): View more from California

  i wish

  Fav 6 1151 3088

  share tweet
  

• (925): View more from California

  we hooked up on one of my student's desks last night...i can't decide if i'm ashamed or massively proud of myself

  (707): View more from California

  dude you teach first grade wtf

  Fav 57 8562 2408

  share tweet
  
ADVERTISEMENT

• (904): View more from Florida

  Yo, if someone calls you asking for John Stamos, just go with it.

  Fav 10 6656 1283

  share tweet
  

• (978): View more from Massachusetts

  i think you broke pat's ankle when you drove over it... he's freaking out but on a more serious note i'm 99% sure i saw a werewolf

  Fav 44 15607 1981

  share tweet
  

• (928): View more from Arizona

  Just had a flash back. Pretty sure i ate toilet paper last night.

  Fav 10 1400 3155

  share tweet
  

• (503): View more from Oregon

  He was hiding behind my bedroom door. at noon. Wearing a t shirt. And a condom. Not attractive.

  Fav 10 834 2617

  share tweet
  
ADVERTISEMENT

• (908): View more from New Jersey

  I'm eating captain crunch out of a cup half full of beer so idk

  Fav 6 764 1094

  share tweet
  

• (303): View more from Colorado

  I just realized in a weird reversed way I hustled a stripper last night

  Fav 5 726 574

  share tweet
  

• (678): View more from Georgia

  Well you were already wet from trying to drink straight from the faucet, so I just put you in the bathtub with a pillow and called it a night

  Fav 3 666 453

  share tweet
  

• (613): View more from Ontario

  I just asked him what would happen if my boobs fought crime. I think I'm cut off.

  Fav 3 454 336

  share tweet
  

• (407): View more from Florida

  It's a beautiful day to be high as fuck

  Fav 1 424 148

  share tweet
  
ADVERTISEMENT

• (908): View more from New Jersey

  And then you poured the rest of the vodka into salsa and added the alcohol soaked pineapples and grapes and said "don't touch my salsa breakfast".

  Fav 1 82 11

  share tweet
  

• (713): View more from Texas

  Let's just say, I'm pretty sure you're banned from Skype.... like, forever.

  Fav 0 24 11

  share tweet
  

• (778): View more from British Columbia

  I woke up with a jacket; in it passport, hockey tickets, sunglasses, credit card, bank transactions

  Fav 0 30 8

  share tweet
  
ADVERTISEMENT

• (306): View more from Saskatchewan

  Longest 30 seconds of my life

  (306): View more from Saskatchewan

  10/10 so not recommended

  Fav 0 12 57

  share tweet
  

Randomize