Last night was an abortion. I might need a publicist.
Just crushed a xanax into my chewing gum. Its gonna be a long, fucking up flight...
its my first week of college and i have a UTI
not easy being a whore now is it
he said i was so drunk that i shared a urinal with him and we simultainiously peed
Although I am concerned about who made the decision to let you loose in a bridal show I am proud to see you in a sombero again.
Sometimes I hate my life and then I remember I live in the WORLD CAPITAL OF RUM
She's not a foreskin expert like you
Just got a 15 minute lecture from a drag queen about how bisexuality doesn't exist. Cher would be so disappointed in her.
ever bang a guy wearing an $800 suit? today you will.
I feel like this is something I should shave my legs for
Have you ever been up at one in the morning and thought to yourself, "I do not know nearly enough about penguin reproduction"?
Apparently mid making out I got up and said "I need to figure out my life" went in the bathroom and threw up for two hours.
There's just no proper way to thank a man for that many consecutive orgasims.
i sent him a picture of his friend's dick and told him he should really stop thinking he's my only option.
on one hand I spent like $120 last night..on the other that was the best sex of my life
i told her we had a class about unicorns together. i'd say it was a good night
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