You stole her cigarette screaming that you were going to stop the air cancer from getting everyone.
at least i was looking out for everybody
sometimes i think life is slapping me across the face and laughing, saying "ha ha! you're an adult!"
I'm home with mono, wearing knee high socks, shorts, a stained old shirt, and a surgical mask. He comes over ANYWAY with soup, a gas mask, billions of DVDs, and eats me out. He's either stupid, whipped, or i'm just THAT good.
I mean, there was frosting being put on a tunafish sandwich. Pretty sure she knew we were high.
They're here. One showed up as a slutty Crayola, and I think the other came as The Fat Friend.
tonight i'm going for the "i fuck with the lights on" look
My blowjobs put them in a state of relaxation similar to that of getting hit with a tranquilizer. The fear comes after the sex.
I just had sex over my oven then high fived the guy. It's going to be a good year.
It's not that I even wanna fuck these guys anymore, just cuddle that's all. My conscience has never been so proud.
He's not drinking on his 21st. Shooting vodka infused Nerf bullets at him would just make a mess and I don't want to be a creep and spike anything... I don't understand awkward boys
Mom is so high she had to turn off the ceiling fan because it was going too fast and it freaked her out.
We were on the beach when you spilled sand in the bottle and said "relax it's vodka, it'll disinfect itself"
That means I have to put pants on. That is not something I am willing to do right now.
? I'm just sitting watching something borrowed alone, crying in my boxers , feel like I should probably do something
you asked me how to turn on the ladder
Randomize
