actually, I'm a sock model
He threw up over the balcony and blamed it on an invisible garden gnome.
he kept refering to his penis as the "eternal sunshine"
this is going to sound stupid but when I was drunk and thought I was a stripper where I did toss my pants?
my nick name has gotton too long over the years..C.T.P.S.G.F.P.G.......cock tease private school groupie frat party groupie.
I think I've officially made out with the entire starbucks staff.
The only good thing about this is that the pharmacy guy will stop trying to add me on Facebook.
We are not on the "bring me breakfast" level. He's bringing me penis if I ask for breakfast too I'll just sound greedy
I just need three more girls to complete my 'Freak-a-leak' bang list. Know any girls named Zahra, Shavon, or Daronda?
FYI, Sammie and I made the executive decision that we're getting a pet octopus and keeping it in the ballpit. Just thought you should know.
How many band members does it take to become The Band Slut? I think I might be dangerously close
New guy at work just gave me a Percocet for my headache. Officially best friends
The only downside to doctor sex is that getting choked with a stethoscope leaves marks.
So.. I was kinda upset i got the bad fuck out of the situation
party at the soccer house. crumbs in my sexy panties. can't. put. pieces. together.
Randomize
