Dear tim. Christina farted and it smells like kid roses.
Okay, guy from work I want to fuck just told me he liked the font on my PowerPoint presentation. It is so on.
Make me proud, climb that corporate ladder.
Getting sheets for college, what is the thread count that shows the least amount of cumstains?
630.
And there are taco shells on the ceiling fan
I've spent more money on drugs for bonnaroo than my actual ticket. Proudly.
The cop let me finish my J before he cuffed me. Coolest arresting officer ever.
Again? Most people check out of hotels, they don't escape from them
Most desperate stoner moment; dropped our hard earned resin ball in the sand, rinsed it off and then did knife hits in the kitchen cuz we broke our only pipe
Yeah. I made eggs in a microwave. I think that's an accomplishment this week, MOM.
Below this exterior of ice is a layer of cum. Followed by a pool of gin. More cum. Then, finally a heart.
tell your brother to quit sending me his dick pics what am i going to do with them print them out and shove them up my ass???
this is honestly why we're friends. we drink tea and plan to do drugs together.
I want to be a supportive friend to her, but I also want to sleep with her ex now that he's single.
So congratulations, your penis has now sent me to urgent care not once, but twice!
OF COURSE I FUCKED HIM! Did you not read the part about him having red and green Christmas condoms?
Randomize
