i just google imaged poop.
He told me he had more lines than a plaid shirt
I'm in a trailer park. But I'm not scared. The virgin always lives.
I'll have to explain it to you tonight when i call drunk. It will sound better
I'm studying for my midterm by watching porn with Spanish subtitles. Surprisingly the words are still really distracting..
If I should ask "why am I still single?" could someone please remind me of shooting mike and ikes out of my nose at the bartender last Saturday. many thanks
Just found out drinking 6 trays of random shots makes me wake up on a club toilet with my underwear and jeans around my ankles
I am just pathetic enough to be sitting on the couch with my cat drinking absinthe and vodka watching moulin rouge. Hello, tuesday night.
When I tried to give you a hickey, you karate chopped me in the neck.
Do you remember using the vicegrip to demonstrate how wide your penis is?
He snapchatted me the wine on the ceiling this morning
Had a dream I was doing scat with Caroline. I need to lay off the cheese at night
This conversation went from me banging other women's husbands to learning about baked goods. If that isn't personal growth I don't know what is.
Turns out that fresh outta jail dick is quite something.
My professor is wearing skinny jeans, orange socks and just said penetration. I don't know what to think
Randomize
