At the Phils game. My gay buddy just wanted up to a bunch of Mets fans and said "I'm gay, and even I think Mets fans are a bunch of fags." I love this fuckin town.
She was running around the bar, demanding everyone call her Jesus or else she would attack them like a llama. ack.
I'm trying real hard to keep it on the DL how drunk I am at lunch with my grandma.
i just won an entire level on word mole with the word 'clitoris'
they said he just opened the front of his shirt and threw up alll over himself
Yessssssssss. I got taped to a couch last night apparently. I also thought i was close to scoring after talking to some chick about hard boiled eggs
Dude. Apparently I just smoked some stuff that's used for Nigerian spirit quests.
Lmao the neighbor heard yall last night She wanted me to tell you way to finish strong
Listen I know you hate her for what she did but this is getting our of hand. Please please tell me where you hid her wedding dress.
Remember when puke and rally meant a good time? Fuck pregnancy
Would it be weird to tell him that on his b'day he's dressing up and we're having weird Jesus sex?
apparently i came home last night raving about goats and singing songs from muppet treasure island
Doing a small happy dance cause my cocaine successfully went through airport security
I'm just sitting here drunk and eating peas because my life sucks
only 4 hours until nug lovin time
excuse me?
nug lovin. lovin nugs.
Randomize
