Full bush! Can't stay! Need ride! Come on bro!
Considering last night's endeavors, I am going to hell 5 times over. 1 for puking on a hobo, 1 for laughing about it, and 3 for remembering it today and laughing about it sober
Next time i try to unbutton my R.A's shirt with my teeth, please stop me
No promises.
Idea for the cake. Joints for candles. Do it.
You know you're an adult when you break 100 to get 75 cents, to buy a condom from a bar vending machine in South Boston.
He held the beaver pelt from the fireplace over my crotch and asked his friend "she look familiar now?", he then remembered my name.
I just want to get drunk and wake up on Wednesday
That's not a current picture, because if you look deep enough into my eyes you can still see morals. Not these days.
When you wake up, I have a unicorn coloring book, crayons, mini cupcakes, and booze.
He started saying the pledge of allegiance so his boner would go down. Merica.
Just let me suck your dick and be happy. Let me have this.
long story short, he tried to fuck me standing up, toppled over, and now I have four stitches next to my eye
He is obviously into the really short sex we have.
I need more 20 something year old penis in my life
The last time we went to a costume party, you walked around in a loincloth with a cross and said you were Jesus. I'm eager to see how much more offensive you can be.
Randomize
