Good. You are like the clit whisperer.
There is a girl in bio drinking beer out of a starbucks cup with a straw
had a convo with my professor before class while peeing... new level of awkward or a breakthrough in our relationship? i feel like there is no longer a professional boundary.
RJ thinks I should put one of the muffins in my vagina. Good idea or bad idea?
I've decided I'm either going to ease him into this breakup by having a threesome with him and the girl I'm leaving him for, or be brutal and fuck his room mate. it depends how nice he is tonight.
Currently microwaving whipped cream to make white Russians and hotboxing the kitchen while this random kid is dancing in the corner.
Just woke up and my doorbell is on my nightstand... the fuck?
my left tit made it into the crop job on your profile pic, I knew it was good for other things
Ikeep having to ask jim if I'm actually talking. I canmt feel my body...this is what Christmas is all about
I never appreciated sexting until I went to rehab
After a few mimosas, my mom started sharing her plans to move out of the house and into a retirement village so she can be the youngest one there and find herself a "nice old sugar daddy." Needless to say, break has not started off well...
He's thawing a cheesecake on his stomach. We're that high.
YOU CAN'T GET A TATTOO BECAUSE OF KPOP FANFICTION. THAT'S NOT HOW LIFE WORKS
I think him and kristen are pretty serious now.. I dont think he cheats on her, anymore.
You're moving up the public shitting ladder
Randomize
