hell yes lets make some ravioli
Only your vagina holds the key to what happened last night.
peeing off your aunts pourch into the koy pond seemed like a good idea at the time
You dislocated his arm and then bought him two shots to numb the pain while you pushed it back in
Chef at hibachi place learned it was my bday and sprayed 20 second count worth of saki in my mouth. Not sure it was the right image to share with my kids, but thought you'd be proud.
Let's just say trying to drink my weight in apple pie shots looked better in theory.
Be subtle and tell lucas that he should sleep here tonight. And by subtle, i mean show him this text...
My biggest accomplishment thus far this summer is having sex 5 weeks after hip surgery.
I'm pricing out a roll of that wax butcher paper. We fuck too messy and I can't afford to wash them every afternoon.
This is kind of a weird question but were you the other girl Ben asked to do a group sex thing with?
But really- as the voice of your vagina I am BEGGING you to do it. If not for yourself than for your poor innocent puss
So, I'm a little drunk in Seattle with Glenna, but we've all agreed that it's patriotic to think about Bill Clinton from time to time during sex. 'Merica
Ya apperently its not "appropriate" to fuck in the school auditorium
Drunk me commented on almost all of her pictures. My favorite one is titled "be as the sea". My comment is "cold, rough, large and letting anyone come inside you. you accomplished." Guessing I'm not invited to the party anymore.
I'll just bring the big suitcase this trip so I don't have to play wine bottle tetris again.
Randomize
