I took Valium worth by frank. I squabble
Li shadha you vin. It's phot out. I just ate a fried Oreo
if i dont get laid while im dressed as Tim Tebow, i'm just staying true to the costume.
Whoever said drinking more helps a hangover didn't drink 96% of a fifth of whiskey last night. This is absurd.
do you think semen can infect my impacted wisdom tooth
He sent me a Microsoft outlook meeting request to blow him in the storage room at work. I had to accept.
I have come to realize that my purpose in life is less musical and more as a filter of alcohol into water.
Going to an AA meeting just so I can fuck him...That's dedication
Yes she scared me. She had NIPPLE CLAMPS ATTACHED TO A STUN GUN.
I remember because you made a pirate noise when you came.
Just got a handjob from a 19 year old in front of the Parthenon. The Greek god of debauchery would be proud.
Trying to do the walk of shame over here WHY are there a hundred ppl on the el?! Thank god I pulled a summit and wore casual clothes I even stopped by the farmers market and bought some squash
Easter bunny might get some gnarly munches and not even have enought candy left to hand out
Seriously just told the plant the cheese Pringles are mine.
Dude she is fucking shit up. Her baby would be proud
There's a big ass bed, hella ecstasy, and I can guarantee you'll regret every second that you remember.
Randomize