Me too. I'd like to spend all next summer high and drunk and riding ponies and boys.
I just saw a girl walking home wearing a tshirt, boxers, and cowboy boots. Thanks for having the decency to drive me to my car.
i have to start hiding my credit card when i drink i woke up this morning with 4 emails from Farmville telling me i spent over $800 on coins last night
You asked the dj to play 'who let the dogs out" because it was your birthday. You left the bar and then re-entered to the song
Just made a drug deal by throwing my money to my dealers window and receiving weed the same way. We are the definition of typical lazy stoners.
Day two of taking my adderall. I just organized the pantry and alphabetized my dvds. I've missed my mind on drugs
All I know is she had me sitting on the kitchen floor with her little Pomeranian eating potato chips And shredded cheese. I don't even know dude. I don't even know.
i just had a pap smear and two shots. lets hit the beach.
Don't be alarmed at the kitchen mess. I had to shoot the fire extinguisher on the toaster oven, one quick blast. It was a matter of safe over sorry.
Make way for the handjob queen! She will grab what she wants, when she wants, and from whomever she wants.
You said dick pics aren't attractive
Random ones, from strangers, no. But a beautiful penis I know and love, absolutely :3
Drunk field day, hangover yoga and sober archery practice
Was the guy in the cowboy hat kinda hot or have I just not had sex in a really long time?
- I'm finally learning to be functional when I'm high. I feel like this is a milestone.
I'm tired of you and your emotional constipation. WHY DO YOU CLOSE YOUR EYES WHEN WE MAKE LOVE!?
Randomize
