So I just watched the Lakers/Magic game so I could have something to talk about with him after we have sex this time
There was an audience eating triscuts and bananas in the bathroom while watching him puke. It was a good birthday.
omfg. get on facebook. the science olympiad team had a rave.
I've been watching anime, masturbating and eating nutella for three days. I hope she never comes back.
it was the drunk execution of a sober decision, and its much more tasteful than the first mullet
Apparently, his doctor was impressed with how well we took care of his leg. We're like the kings of naked triage.
come find me. Outside the bar we were just in waving my syringe in the air
Gosh I haven't been pantsless in front of anyone for a while. It's time for me to pick up my game. We need a party. I need some rum.
So I just noticed that my last drunk google search before going to bed last night was "ghosts based on gays." I have no idea what that's supposed to mean
Honestly I am too high to watch videos of you jerking off right now
She couldn't understand why my walking in on her 70 year old parents ruined any chance of a boner for at least an hour. I think she's too slow for me to fornicate with.
I was so horny last night, I failed to let him know about my current bed bug infestation.
Idk what I'm more afraid of...checking my bank account or my STD results.
thanks for supporting my whoreish tendencies
shes rolling around in the floor yelling my vagina hates me
Randomize
