How do you get eyebrow wax out of your butthole region?
The fact that you aren't ashamed to ask that is the reason I will give you the answer. Under the sink there is a bottle of wax remover. Throw my waxing kit away as well.
Joey just asked me if I ever got anything stuck in my vag.
was it embarrassing when you had to say yes?
Well he paid for dinner, so I paid for the Plan B, but the parking ticket I got is totally his responsibility.
Also, hurry up because I don't like drinking alone. I'm still doing it, but I don't like it.
So I peed on what I thought was a wall while in nashville come to find out while running from the cop it was just a dark tinted window and the while bar witnessed me peeing
He made me write my name on his wall in crayon so he'd be able to remember it in the morning
The shit show didn't end. it just relocated itself to my apartment instead of yours.
you also need to get my treadmill fixed.
He asked if he could pull one of my teeth "to remember me by"
Why do I have a missed call from "The Anaconda" ?
Dude, you punched me in the face bc I wasnt ordering your tbell fast enough. Then when you got it, you threw it out the window bc, and I quote, "OBAMACAREEEE!"
I thought you wanted to talk?
What part of "Lets have angry sex" means I want to talk?
My mom legitimately hired a private eye on me. DO YOU KNOW HOW EXCITING MY LIFE JUST GOT???
so apparently over the course of the night my roommate and i had sex in exactly the same spot. ps the downstairs sink needs cleaning.
Its 6:30pm and dad just drunk called me asking me what the alarm code at home is..... I'm at home, and dad isn't here.....
Apparently walking into a national conference and proclaiming "i'm here to fuck shit up" is frowned upon.
Who knew?
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