I think my emotional moodswings have reached a new low. I cried for the entire duration of changing my tampon.
I just wanna be some guy's midlife crisis
You were so drunk last night you thought you force pushed the automatic door open.
Just saw a guy wearing pink jeans and i bet he's straight. Fuck 2009.
I want to apologize 3 days in advance for what's about to take place on St. Patrick's day.
He didnt have condoms & didnt trust himself to pull out. Thats when I knew he was a keeper. So I blew him so he knew I was a keeper too.
True romance of the 21st century.
your stepbrother is rimming his martinis with coke... keeps saying "thank god its tuesday". where does funemployment end and intervention begin?
Best morning ever. I saw a bum giving another bum a blowjob downtown.
I hope your sleeping good cuz when u wake up im punching you square in the face
i want us to warm up up with us making out while i lay you down touching and feeling all the spots you know are going to get you warmed up. im gonna move down your body kissing every inch as i move down past your panty line ;)
Did you watch the carolina game tonight?
I cNt phones. tingles in my fingles. jingles
I really don't know where my pants are, but that's not the problem. When are you going to unlock the door?
I like to send nudes ok? If that's my biggest flaw I think I'm ok
Why are my jeans soaking wet and smell like chlorine??
Bc u told a stranger in the hotel "I have sinned' and made him get into the hotel fountain and "baptize u". I've got a vid
It's so obvious he's evil. I mean, would a non-evil person have facial hair like that?
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