I told a kindergarten student that candy canes are bones of reject elves.
some kid came into the principals office and tried to explain what he was sent there for through interpretive dance.
I acted like I was still sleeping as she gathered her stuff to leave.. that's when she let one rip
he keeps calling me but I'm too scared to answer... Not sure what he's gonna yell at me for: barging into his room while he was with another girl, filling her shoes with dog food and water, or hiding his keys in the garbage disposal.....
She touched you, you're now contaminated for 48 hours. Please watch out for rashes, hives and STDs as she's known to have all three.
We're official. Living with your boyfriend sounds so much better than fucking your roommate.
when i came out to my mom, it was over brunch. i was eating a banana. not exactly my smartest breakfast choice.
was it you or me who tried to make the, what appears to be, nacho cake in the oven?
we put a pacifier in your mouth because you kept drunkenly singing country music.
please dont let the old guy in the wheelchair see you when you wake up
Just a warning... Flip, sip, or strip always ends in all participants being naked. Learning from experience.
I reek of vagina.. My cab driver commented.
Remember when we tried to have fun last time..? I got put in a choke hold and you woke up in some ones car.
But at least i made friends with the nice lesbian cop. She knew i was her kind when she had to confiscate my rainbow/pride rolling papers.
HE WAS CUMMING IN THAT DICK PIC
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