oh posh. I need a real boy. To fill my void. This guy has potential. He is a Republican.
***** and i were talking about Republicans today. They are usually the champs of mediocrity but we decided mediocrity is underrated.
I am now Facebook friends with Donkey Lips from Salute Your Shorts
so how much must it suck for him to know that the penis of his best man has been in his wife's mouth before?
Just saw the liqour store owner get into a mercedes, almost proud to be responsible for that
It's been over a month and I still can't find the bra I wore out on new years eve.
i cant wait to be back in my element of drunk, on a barstool, ive missed home
I told him he could fuck me once he could grow a beard. Never expected seeing him ten years later with a goatee and a great memory...
Ok. Here's the plan. Take your hand (whichever is closest), summon all your nerve, and just stick it right down his pants.
I love you.
That bottle of wine took a part of my soul with it.
Quote from doctor, "that is a VERY angry vagina".
I'm fucked.
He stopped in the middle of us banging in order to check in for his Southwest flight.
Yeah you'd pretty much be ruined if you broke up with a guy like that and then had to return to the dating pool
Also my roomate used some of my condoms so she gave me her hummus. Great trade
Stop making fun of my hookups!
Stop getting hookups that I can make fun of!
I’m so poor I’m filling a flask with vodka and bringing it to the bar.
Randomize
