there was a guy here who managed to get his head stuck in a fishbowl. no, I don't fuckin know how
oh well at that point I was already depressed with life because I had watched the bratz movie.
woke up in a freezing tub of water at 6 am again. probably should stop the drunk baths
you dragged me by my throat over to the shots. this is a new level of alcoholism..
you got me arrested i just think that goes without question you owe me a blowjob
Want me to give your number to an army recruiter?
I don't know... do you want me to use your number to sell used gay porn on Craigslist?
I sense beginning a prank war would end badly for both of us.
come help me. im curled up in the fetal position on the upper floor of the lib. please bring more caffeine or alcohol
its ok. its hell week the lib is a no judgment zone right now
Aaaaaaand, there's the title of my second book. "One Dick. Six Angles."
Well thank god i want six autographed copies
I have experienced an excessively hairy ballsack in my mouth...and it was horrifying. I keep feeling it in my mouth now. It's like hairy ball PTSD.
He made a deal with his real estate agent called fucking in 50 properties for sale
He gave me an orgasim so fantastic that I had an asthma attack.
I'm going to make a stack of pancakes and fuck it. Right now.
I have done everything sexualally imaginable with that umpalumpa
He's on the porch naked. Help.
So he apologized for peeing on my floor.. then we fucked all night.
Real classy
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