She's hot, in a Megan Fox with Down's Syndrome kinda way. Like, she'd win Miss Deliverance Pageant
At least she's the hottest one. Oh well, it's all about stats
i decided i am going on the Justin Bobby plan for success. Don't cut my hair for a year, don't shave for a month, land Audrina Patridge. Game on.
keep an eye on me. i'm afraid that after a few more drinks i'll ask to borrow his wheelchair.
we traced the origins of this shit fest of a relationship back to a single instance of road head. then we did a reinacment
Yeah, he has a kid now! Shit... You know you're all grown up when the people you used to have threesomes with become parents
I think that's the key to being an adult though... Get those rapid fire beer shits out I the way early, then you can go about your grown man business
I just karate chopped a humming bird out of mid air. It came at my face while I was out side smoking. Scared the shit out of me. My ninja skills just took over. Haha. I mean really at that point it was me or him.
She's comparing the feel of breasts to shredded cabbage. Weirdest. Grandmother. Ever.
Vodka tonic time....wish me luck!
Go for it my man. I'm saving my shit show night for tomorrow. Gonna make it a big one just to let the entire bar know why I'm single
there's a girl on facebook trying to buy me a pizza. I can't say no... right?
I think I gave the bachelor party directions to the breweries next to my dentist so that they could take me to my appointment and pick me up afterward...
This bird just went for my eyes. Does he think I'm dead???
It's official. Post baseball sex is better than post hockey sex. I hope the Blue Jays win the world series.
How you doing tonight? I got my butthole licked so i cant complain.
Look at us. Planning our business meeting. Including snacks like shrooms & trail mix.
Randomize
