he wasnt completely random
you're right. you met him once and didnt know his name. you still dont
i get things done.
halloween costumes for girls are easy, slutty teacher, slutty cop, slutty nurse, etc...
exactly, that's why i want something interesting
slutty neuroscientist?
I gave her a mint afterward. It felt like giving turndown service at Hotel BJ.
smoking a cig and getting head on the last night of my cruise. and she doesn't mind that i'm texting you right now. this is now on my list of top 10 nights of my life.
I was also standing on my bed with a road cone pounding on the ceiling at 3am. Not sure why
apparently there was a flour fight and couch sex...
Seriously, do normal people actually get work done being this hungover? No wonder the economy's in the shitter
They're showing aladdin at the bar my birthday is complete
Please stop using me as a reference for bail bondsmen.
Your life is one shit show away from being a lifetime movie.
The kitchen also doubles as a screaming room after midnight as long as you have something to muffle the sound
He left a fire sauce packet from taco bell that said "promise you'll text me in the morning" on my nightstand.
Remember when you brought a guy home from the bar... to our parents house.... on thanksgiving eve?
Yes we can sext. I'm taking my socks off.
I just woke up naked in a bed with your brother. WHAT THE HELL HAPPENED TO NOT LETTING EACH OTHER DO STUPID THINGS?
You fucked my brother?!
Randomize
