He said he wanted to have kids with me so they could grow up to be professional linebackers. Not. A. Complient.
four loko is apparently banned in the us. so i think its time for us to stock up. i already emailed them about buying them in bulk
By the way, she says hi. At least I think she did since she licked my phone
he just came in and straightened the chair and left again
Lets just fuck. We'll decide if it was makeup or breakup sex after.
I think that the winner of this years fantasy football league should get naming rights to you child
I have been drinking since 2. And I'm now chasing the cat around the house with a light saber. Anna's helping.
I just need three more girls to complete my 'Freak-a-leak' bang list. Know any girls named Zahra, Shavon, or Daronda?
I have nothing to lose. And a bunch of dick to gain.
Well, we could've been at the bar taking a shot everytime my rash spread. But Noooooo. You had to go out with your non- girlfriend. Lame.
Also I just had a flash back ... He told me I have nice nipples and then asked me about yours..
Pretty sure that I just proved those labels that say "non-flammable" wrong. totally unrelated, We just made your futon fly with a shitload of fireworks
Well, thanks for not letting me sleep with anyone, but no thanks for telling everyone I have the clap.
My shower turned into a bath, turned into me lying on the shower floor with the water running over me... That hung over..
I woke up wearing mittens dude
I woke up in my bathtub with the potted plant from downstairs.
checkmate.
Randomize
