i can't believe i never thought of this: farticle man
she said "lets play dickbreaker!" and then threw my blackberry at my dick as hard as she could.
the only reason i invite her is so when the guys start to hit on her i know it's time to take their keys
I'm on my fifth double. This night is getting better whether it likes it or not.
told weddin planner we wanted to work in ceremonial body shots before vows. she hasnt reponded yet...
soo how bad was i last night?
licking sour cream off of the table at pancheros bad.
I will not fuck this loser. I will not fuck this loser. I will not fuck this loser.
For public speaking we have to bring an object that describes us to class. Can't decide if I wanna bring a flask or a shot glass.
All of a sudden i love everyone. In all their flawed and failing beauty. This is pretty good weed.
Apparently my face was in the trashcan and in between throw ups I was screaming LOS DIABLOS. I woke up this morning with a bird flying around my room. Nobody seems as concerned as I am.
Woke up in time for my 8:15
Good for you I'm impressed
I realized 10 minutes in it was a class from last semester
I wore sunglasses to take a shower. I might be hungover.
His life is a porno. He snapped me while banging a girl in the back of the ambulance.
I woke up and my pants were in the kitchen but my shoes were next to my bed. Do the math...
I got horny for like a second but the eggplant snapped me out of it
Randomize
